so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
