I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
