Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
