Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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