Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
