the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We are two peas in an std pod
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
