OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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