I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
