epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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