guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
