We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
