Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You're like the curious george of whores
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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