Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
