Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
