I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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