Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
