I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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