so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
