halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
