I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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