kristin has been a bad kristin
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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