Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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