STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
