it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
