Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
