I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
