New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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