the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
