don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
