Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's never too late to be topless.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
