Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
