I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
