And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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