Pants 0. Shit 1.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
