so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
