Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
