yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just had sex on a roof
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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