I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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