so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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