This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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