I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
