They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
