Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
