Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
