WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
