he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
