I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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