i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
