i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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