dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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