I forgot how hot balto sounded
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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