I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
