Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize