If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize