i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
