Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
