Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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