I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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