this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
