I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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