So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
