How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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