Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
