then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
