so that wasnt chicken after all
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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