i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Congratulations! We have a period
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