so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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