ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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